Afterglow

On my way from Douala to Paris I spent most, if not all, of my time looking back on my 12 weeks in Limbe, trying to make sense of it all.  When you're too close to something it is hard to see the bigger picture.  I was 3 months deep in this one and could barely see what was right in front of me anymore.  Even on my way from Limbe to Douala International Airport I could feel myself starting to let go and my thoughts clearing. 

I have been having trouble figuring out if I accomplished all or nothing of what I set out to and found myself getting more and more confused about what I had just experienced.  Then I arrived in Paris and was surprised to see two familiar faces waiting for me at the apartment.  My parents!  My 2 amazing parents have been in Paris for the past week touring and waiting for me to arrive to surprise me!  Spending the day with them, touring the Palace of Versailles and the Eifel Tower really helped to clear my head.  Sometimes in order to make sense of something as complex and significant as spending 3 months in Africa, you have to completely forget about it. 

I can assure you that as I burried my teary eyed face into my fathers shoulder, the only thing that mattered was the fact that I was with my parents. 

I can see clearer (not clearly just yet) that my 3 months in Cameroon were a success not despite the frustrations but because of them.  All of the situations I did not see coming, were not prepared for, or made had me react in a questionable way were what made up my unique experience.  It may not have been the romanticized and picture perfect 12 weeks I dreamt about, but nothing ever is.  And it was the 'imperfections' that pushed me to learn and experience even more than I ever thought I could. 

The world was not made in a day, it was not destroyed in a day, and it certainly can not be fixed in a day (or in this case, 84 days).  We learn to work with what we've got.  We do what we can.  We give what we can.  I spent 12 weeks in Cameroon trying to learn and share and teach and experience and I got it all, for better and for worse.  The more I think about it, the less I seem to remember.  The solution I have thus concluded is to stop thinking about it and bask in the sheer wonder that I am in Paris with my beloved parents and that I have 3 weeks ahead of me of visiting friends and travelling Europe. 

The lessons learned aren't going anywhere, my blog and thousands of pictures will help make sure of that.  I am taking it for what it is and accepting it all as the amazing experience I signed up for.  Now for the second phase of the adventure ... Europe.  First stop Paris.  Second stop Venice.  Third, London, then Edinburgh, the Amsterdam, then Toronto.  THEN, the most important part of it all, the afterglow.  The shining, beautiful moments that follow the experience where it all starts to make sense.  The further away from the adventure you get the more the reality of how the lessons can be applied to life are realized.

I learned that one from the Big Bang Theory. 

 

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!

It is all over.  12 weeks have come and gone, and I am confused.  The following is my attempt at trying to succinctly sum up my thoughts and feelings on the past 3 months. 

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I would be lying if I said I have not spent a lot of time thinking of things to say in this last post from Limbe, and clever ways of saying them too.  I have had a few decent ideas, but none stuck.  I have been in Limbe, Cameroon for exactly 12 weeks now and it is time to move on.  It is time to move on to bigger and better things and to, most importantly, finally stop pointing out all of the lessons I have learned BUT to go home and APPLY EVERYTHING I have learned and experienced to my life and career. 

Since I got here, all I have talked about with people is how difficult development work is because of all the cultural differences and the lack of resources here in the developing world.  But every job has its challenges.  Every career presents obstacles.  And everything worth achieving can be (or even should be) a big pain in the ass in some way.  Climbing Mount Cameroon was one of the most difficult physical feats I have ever taken on but it was also one of the most rewarding moments of my life reaching the summit.  I literally overcame my obstacles.

It is odd to think about, but now that I am in my final hours in Cameroon I feel like I have gone back to where I was in my first week here.  Because I know that after tomorrow, the sites of Cameroon will only be a memory and I suddenly want to take pictures of everything because I know it might be the last time I see it!  I have also pondered how in my final days here I feel just like I did in my final days in Toronto, insofar that I have an amazing mix of emotions.  I am nervous, scared, anxious, excited, happy, sad, elated, and excited! 

There were a lot of very difficult days here.  There were a lot of frustrating moments.  There were a lot of times when I thought to myself "what the hell was I thinking when I signed up for this?"  There were also moments when I thought to myself "this is the most rewarding experience of my life.”There were phenomenal moments, and phenomenal achievements.  At the end of any experience, once all the dust settles and all goals and objectives have been met, all we are left with is the trail of decisions we made along the way.  Some decisions we are proud of and others we wish we could take back.  Some of those decisions led us closer to our goals and others further away.  But observing and analyzing what has already happened can only get us so far.  We learn from all of our decisions, good or bad, and we take what we can.  BUT at the end of the day, it is insane to focus on anything but what was accomplished and how far we've come, because even the lessons learned should be seen as an accomplishment. 

Development work was just one small piece of the puzzle of lessons that made up my experience here; but I am very lucky to have learned as much as I have about the field and its obstacles.  One of the biggest lessons I learned about development is that it requires COLLABORATION.  Ego's ruin everything.  If you walk into a development situation and expect that everyone around you should bow down to your ideas and processes then you are contributing to the problem.  Everyone has thoughts and opinions and development workers need to understand that personal opinions are just that, and not fact.  People who work on a development project, whether they are volunteers, coordinators, facilitators, teachers, economists, coaches, or full time employees of any NGO, need to be able to provide insight, receive insight and be willing to reach THE MIDDLE GROUND; the compromise that allows the best of all ideas to flourish.  A very wise lady once told me about development work that "it is not necessarily about changing the local culture, but simply understanding it."  In my 3 month experience I can confidently say that truer words have never been spoken. 

With regard to collaboration and development workers working together, the personalities of the people involved obviously have a lot to do with that.  When a volunteer on a football coaching project admits to "not liking or having no interest in working with children" ... that is a problem.  Teamwork is something that I have stressed at every training session for the last 12 weeks.  Teamwork, I was once told, is defined by a group of people all working together to achieve a common goal.  When there is a lack of teamwork, nothing gets done because there is no collaboration and everyone is pulling at the same string in a different direction.  Like I have told my players and students here, you are all on one team.  Whether you’re on the field or off, you need to know who and where your teammates are.  A teammate is someone you can trust, someone you can rely on; someone who will help you out of a jam or overcome an obstacle at a moments notice, and who you would do the same for. 

I have learned here that in any profession people learn to adapt and work with what is around them.  You can only do what you can.  You can only give what you have.  You can only provide support with the experience you have.  You can only do so much on your own.  With the help of the people around us obstacles become smaller, frustrations become opportunities and lessons are [always] learned.  Through lessons learned people grow and develop and become who they are.  We learn not only about ourselves and who we really are, but who we want to be, and what we can and want to accomplish.  I know fully understand why the dreaded “Experience” has so much power and influence on our resumes because it is only through our experience that we shape our understanding of our surrounding and better understand who we are and what our are goals in life are. 

I am extremely lucky to have a great team behind me.  So many people contributed to my experience here.  The list goes on but I feel obligated to single out a few individuals both in Cameroon and back home in Canada who provided significant support when, and how, I needed it most. 

My close friends, Ray, Steve, Ben, Peter, and Jason.  You guys have always been there and have always said exactly what I needed to hear and always knew when I needed a stern talking to and when I needed a laugh.  You guys are the best.  I look forward to all of us being in the same city again soon. 

Dr. Laura Cousens from Brock University.  If it was not for you this blog would not exist.  This experience would have taken on an entirely different role in my head.  You helped me sift through the confusion and point out the obvious and help me realize what I needed to in order to help me move forward with my goals.  All of my accomplishments here were in some way touched by you. 

Humphrey, when I met you I was lost, confused and scared.  Through getting to know you my comfort level grew and so did my confidence in my abilities and passions here.  You showed me Seme Beach as well as the truth in life and the difficulties in Africa.  You provided support, friendship and guidance.  Thank you! 

John Molua, you were always at the field with me helping me with the kids and my message.  You were always there with a laugh, kind words, and were just as excited about the power of sport as I am.  I loved talking to you, I loved collaborating with you, I loved hanging out with you, and I will miss you. 

The staff and coordinators of the African Volunteer Football Academy for the Less Privileged (AVFAL) and Challenge Charity.  Nathan, John, and Coach Lucas, you guys made this possible with your vision and effort with AVFAL.  It may be a thankless job at times but when the kids score that winning goal, the look on their faces is the only thanks we need.  Thank you  for coordinating this experience and facilitating my lessons learned. 

The employees of the Fako Divisional Delegation of Sport and Physical Education.  You guys helped me add a component to my trip that brought a level of experience I could have only hoped for.  Understanding not only local football but also local Physical Education has allowed me a unique insight into Cameroonian athletics and education.  I can not thank you enough for the opportunity and for presenting me with the chance to speak at your Annual Fako Division Physical Education and Sports Seminar on October 10!  I had a blast and truly cherished the experience.  I am so happy that I was allotted the opportunity to share my experiences and passions about sport and development.  You gave me that opportunity. 

Jessi, your positive outlook on life and development was just as useful at your tough love.  Your words always seemed to make sense and help with the frustrations and make me see that there really is beauty in it all. 

Adrienne, your constant support, kind words, and consistent encouragement was always welcomed and had an everlasting positive affect on my state of mind here.   

Now for the heavy hitters ...

To my Grandmother, Estelle.  I am not convinced that I will ever truly be able to express how much your love and support means to me and I am confident that with you in my corner I can accomplish and overcome anything.  Your 2-3 daily emails were ALWAYS a cause for a smile.  You learning how to use facebook was another entertaining and touching expression of your support.  I love you and will forever aim to provide the love to my family as you have to yours.  You are my inspiration and I Can Not wait to see you in November!

To my parents; so much to say, such little space.  It is really quite simple.  If it was not for you, NONE of this would have been possible.  This trip would cease to exist and I would not be the person I am today.  You guys continue to provide support in every possible way, providing insight and ready to jump into my corner for any reason at any time.  You were always taking time out of your busy day and schedule to talk to me about every little detail here.  To send me beautifully worded hand written letters further providing your support and helping me arrange donations for this charity and sending them over brought a smile not only to my face but to about 45 Cameroonian teenagers as well.  These past 3 months have really just been you two casually being the amazing, loving parents you have always been.  Before I left you told me that by the time I got home I would have a new appreciation of my life.  You were right.  It was also the understatement of the decade.  My life, my family, and my friends are all amazing.  My parents are amazing.  I know you wanted me to stop using the word ‘amazing’, but it fits.  Saying thank you in my blog does not even come close to expressing the true substance with which it is being offered.  I love you guys.  Thank you for everything.  I know that everyone says that they have the best parents in the world, but I am confident that I would have a very strong case for Mr. And Mrs. Budish. 

And to everyone else who provided their support either through comical emails or facebook messages.  To those that have read my blog and to those that I have talked to.  Thank you to you all.  I love you guys and can not thank you enough for your support.  Looking forward to seeing you all when I get home! 

The people we work with and surround ourselves with have a very significant effect on our direction in life and what we can accomplish.  There is still a lot to achieve in sport and sport for development. 

Sport can be, and is used, as a medium for broader messages simply because of its global attraction.  There is not a society, country, group of people, or tribe on earth that does not have some kind of recreation activity associated with its culture.  A book I recently read called The Ball by John Fox attempts to answer the question “Why do we play ball” ... ‘We’ being humans.  In his research he interviews a tribal chief from an aboriginal tribe in North America.  With regard to their traditional sport of Lacrosse, the chief mentioned that when his team plays another tribe they do not see it as strictly competition and they do not rate the success or failure of the game only on goals scored or winning or losing.  In fact they put a higher priority on playing with a pure mind and heart and they view the event more as a chance for old friends and family to come together and enjoy a traditional display of athleticism and respect. 

A coach once (wrongfully) told me that he believed that there was no room in coaching for NOT emphasizing only winning and scoring ... and winning.  I believe that sport has more to offer our society and our youth than teaching them that if you lose you are nothing.  You have to win in order to be worth anything.  Sport teaches us so much more than that.  It teaches discipline.  Teamwork.  Unity.  Trust.  Patience.  Communication.  Problem solving.  Sportsmanship.  Conflict resolution.  Not to mention having huge health benefits.  And also not to mention being able to use football (or any other locally popular sport) to discuss with kids about making good life choices with regard to drugs, alcohol, smoking, HIV/AIDS and so on.  The point is that Sport is what we make it.  It is what we believe it is.  We can use sport, much like any other powerful tool in life, for good or bad.  We can use sport for anything we want because the power is there. 

I am not totally sure how to wrap this up.  I am confident that no matter how much I write or no matter how many times I read, re-read, edit, and repeat; I will think of 20 more things that I wanted to mention in this post.  So how do you sum up 3 months of life-altering experiences, adventures, triumphs and frustrations?  The truth is that it’s really hard.  But here goes nothing ...

I got what I came for.

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So, for the final time, THANK YOU to everyone who has followed my adventure here and to everyone for their love and support.  I am a very lucky man.  I send my love to you all. 

See you all on the other side. 

Affectionately,

Josh

 

P.S. I trimmed my beard today because technically I shaved the day I left Toronto which was Friday July 20 which makes TODAY exactly 12 weeks of growing.  Soccer's beard has come and gone. 

Delegation Seminar Continued...

During my presentation.

Me and the Delegate of Sport and Physical Education, Mme. Ekombe.  She so kindly granted me the opportunity to work with the delegation and some of the schools in the area.  I could not be more grateful that she allowed me to add this unforgettable aspect to my experience here in Limbe! 

Delegation Seminar

During the Q&A portion of my presentation this man asked if he could address the audience.  He did so completely in French and so I stood politely hoping that someone would translate the question for me once he finished.  I later learned that there was no question but that he was simply reiterating to the francophones in the crowd the importance of what I was discussing and that they all had a responsibility to understand the concept of adapting games and activities to send messages that go far beyond the field. 

My personal trainer...

For those of you that I mentioned my Limbe personal trainer ... meet Theodore.  He is from Yaounde and has been an amazing friend to me in the last month.  I met him at the Delegation where he mentioned that I had a solid handshake but was too fat.  He then offered to make me "sexy" for when I got home.  What followed was 3 mornings a week of aerobic workouts and friendly talks about sport, development, life, difficulties, solutions to those difficulties, comfort, and a treasured friendship.  He had to leave for Yaounde this morning and so we had to say goodbye to one another at the Seminar, which we both presented at.  This is us the morning of the seminar, ready to enlighten!  Thanks for everything buddy!  I will speak to you soon!

Good Friends!

 

 

Obi was on vacation with his brother in Douala for the first few weeks of me being here.  However, once he got back to Limbe and started training again with AVFAL, we hit it off instantly.  He has joined me a couple of times at Mr. Chicken, a resturant near his house, where we chat about life, sports, and anything that comes to mind!  I will miss you Obi!

The Final 48

I still remember the final 48 hours before I left Toronto on this crazy adventure!  I tried very hard to take mental pictures of significant moments over the past 12 weeks because I knew that no matter how slow time seemed to move at times, that come my departure date it would all be a blur.  My mental pictures have been erased by a lack of memory BUT I did take over 1500 real pictures.  That should help. 

Today is Thursday.  Yesterday I presented at the Divisional Delegation of Sport and Physical Education for the Fako Division at their annual seminar for Physical Education teachers.  They asked me to present on using sport to send a message and  for social development.  It went very well!  I got a long list of interested parties that asked me to email them once I get back to Toronto with research, documents, activity ideas and any other useful resource!  I was so happy to see that so many were touched by the notion of using sport for development.  It was a very nice way to spend my last week here!  I was a little nervous but all went well! 

Now that I am looking ahead at my final 48 hours in Limbe I don't know whether to look ahead or backwards at what I have to look foward to or what I have accomplished!  I am confused.  I am happy to be moving on, but sad to be leaving.  I am excited for what lies ahead but nervous for my future endeavours.  I have learned so much and now I need to apply it. 

So much to do.  So many people to say goodbye to.  So many friends to thank and family members to hug.  So many facial hairs to trim.  These next couple of days will be very busy!  I should probably pack. 

Much love to all and once again thank you to everyone for your continued support. 

Josh